What About Your Life is Stretching You?

How we hate to move out of our comfort zones! But, how we hate to be considered "predictable" either! I have to say that it is almost hurtful to have to admit to living a "narrow life," enjoying the company of folks I "get along with," who tend to support issues the way I do. Some of them have greater convictions than I, but we still think alike. There's an important reflection point you are asked to address -- "what about your life is stretching [you]"?
I remember a former Pastor at SJN, Msgr.Jordan, who truly knew how to be open in a way that was absent of judgment. On one occasion, after a funeral held at SJN for an individual who was part of the homeless community, we welcomed an interesting collection of mourners to the reception following the service, and Fr. Jordan wound up face to face with Leslie, Austin's famous cross-dresser, who arrived wearing a nun's headdress and a thong. I believe he tried to shock Fr. Jordan when he asked him about whether he was acceptable in the eyes of the church, and the Pastor merely smiled and said that God welcomed everyone to the table. How does one avoid the temptation to be suspicious of "that" visitor?

In Chapter 4, the authors make a curious comment that solitude is important because it "opens us up" to be in relationship with others. It is true that many of us have almost lost touch with what it's like to live in the quiet -- too many ringing cell phones, radios that are never turned off, television noises in the background, even the sound of traffic outside. Sometimes, we don't even realize how badly we need time to be quiet. As a single person, I've created some space for silence in my own home each morning in prayer, but once a year I head to the valley for the supreme quiet offered at Lebh Shomea, a Silent House of Prayer operated by the Oblates in the middle of South Texas ranch country. I've learned through that experience, that the quiet truly does restore us for living in community. I think I could really live in that kind of silence for much longer than the week I spend each year, but that would almost be an escape from my own destiny on the planet. I'm just thankful for the restoration that comes to me while I am there.

Food for thought, enjoy the read,

Nancy Biehler

Hospitality as a Spiritual Practice

It's interesting to look at hospitality as a "spiritual practice" because we don't always think of our personal conversations with Christ as related. In fact, we all want to have a relationship with Him, and to do that, He teaches us that when we welcome the "least" among us, we welcome Him. But it can be awkward and uncomfortable for us to venture into the unknown in greeting the stranger. We don't know what will happen in their response. Benedictine rule shows us how important it is for us to be open to those moments of real growth.

It's a very powerful comment the authors make, when they point out that we "become less by what we omit doing." How often have any of us, in our daily routines, failed to extend a helping hand, or aid a stranger, because we see no need to get involved, or do something that might delay our time table for the day? And besides, no one is actually getting hurt by it. How could we even know, if we pass them by?

My Pastor pointed out an excellent practice that some folks take on, and that is to refer to people by name whenever possible, at the grocery store (they have a name plate on their uniform!); in a restaurant, when the waiters usually introduce themselves to you; over the telephone, when you've been holding for a service assistant, and they also introduce themselves at the beginning of the conversation. So often, in our frustration over delays, we even fail to be civil to those individuals. How much extra time out of our lives would it take for that? I'd like to think that those might actually be moments of grace that we pass up.

One of my younger sisters lives by that tenet. She calls it living intentionally, so that there are no passive actions, but conscious moments that we do not lose in the flurry of our lives. For those of us who are always in a hurry, we really do need to practice it, because it doesn't come naturally any more. Some of us have long since forgotten that we, too, were once among the nameless faces greeting strangers for a living.

That kind of due diligence will require more prayer, I think, and a steady focus on that intention several times a day. Dare we try? We could all use the extra grace.

Blessings to all of you,

Nancy Biehler

Listening - The Foundation of the Rule

I very much appreciated the reference in the Introduction, that Benedict's rule was based on the accumulation of "uncomplicated wisdom" that created a framework for how to live a good life. The foundation for learning the rule is, quite simply, listening. But for those of us who are leaders and talkers, listening is sometimes a hard skill to come by. I have worked on it for years, and have only recently begun to show signs of improvement. What I have noticed is that the more one is able to listen, the more one is able to be peaceful. It is a refreshing alternative to my former path.

 

There is also a comment that hospitality has a "moral dimension to it," because it speaks to our own prejudgements about people. How do we overcome our fear of the stranger?  It breaches a comfort zone that we can learn to broaden, if we are willing. For me it may be easier than most, because I am an extrovert, but I often catch myself holding back, because I hesitate to get drawn into the stories that go beyond the greeting. Clearly, I have much to learn about true hospitality.

 

God bless you,

 

Nancy Biehler